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13 August 2007 @ 08:44 am
The First Time He Wasn't There, Star Wars EU, Jacen Solo, Rated G  
Title: The First Time He Wasn’t There
Author: darth_acheron
Fandom: Star Wars EU
Characters: Jacen Solo
Timeline: Not too long after events in Star by Star.
Rating: Rated G
Warnings: None
Word Count: 340
Disclaimers: The characters aren’t mine and I do not profit from them; this is a work of fanfiction and is meant to be read as such.
Summary: Jacen Solo misses his brother.

The First Time He Wasn’t There

“Anakin…Anakin…would you turn that off?”

Jacen Solo rolled over and tried to bury his head under the too-hard pillow. The wake-up alarm continued to shrill, easily penetrating to abuse his already aching head.

Anakin! Would you please turn off that damn…”

Jacen rolled over and sat up and it was as if every ounce of heat suddenly drained from his body, leaving him icy cold and shivering. His heart felt as though it would leap out of his chest and his stomach turned and twisted threateningly.


But he wasn’t there. He would never be there again. He was gone forever, burned to gray ash.


Please, Force, let it have been a nightmare and Anakin would come banging through the room any second and Jacen could yell at him for making too much noise so early in the morning.

Jacen squeezed his eyes tightly shut, trying to picture his younger brother’s face in his mind. He panicked for a moment until his mind latched onto a recent memory of a smiling face and laughing blue eyes. But that memory was soon eclipsed by ones of blood and pain and an empty spot that could never be filled.

“Should’ve been me. He was better. He was special. He was…good.”

Jacen sighed and drug his weary body out of the bed and over to the small table where the alarm still shrilled. The thing was ancient. They’d carried it all over the galaxy. Anakin could be a hard sleeper sometimes and he liked to use it.

Jacen reached over and gently pushed the small red button on its side and the room was suddenly deafeningly quiet though he thought his eardrums might carry the imprint of the ringing for days to come.

“You have to come back, Anakin. I don’t know what to do with you not here. I…don’t know what to be.”

But his only answer was the continued silence of the room and the rain that slowly began to beat against the small windows.

*****This is cross-posted in several places so you may have read it before.
jacens_heart: JacenJaina_SiblingsOfDestinyjacens_heart on August 13th, 2007 02:52 pm (UTC)
I did read this somewhere else recently but remembered it being good so I read it again! Poor Jacen, so lost without his younger brother. I always pictured Anakin Solo as one of those amazingly vibrant people who light up the entire room when they walk in...when they're gone it just doesn't seem real.

Wonder how much our new Sith Lord thinks of his brother or does he try not to?
Linney K (jacens_inferno): revelationjacens_inferno on August 13th, 2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
Thanks for posting your fanfiction! I love your descriptions, Jacen seems mired in a depression after losing his brother, I could feel his loneliness.
Boleyn (myrkr_nightmare): JacenSolomyrkr_nightmare on August 14th, 2007 01:21 am (UTC)
What a sweet, sad story. And Jacen, when he was still Jacen, hurting so badly and missing his brother, half expecting him to walk in the door at any moment. I think all of us readers were feeling that after reading Star by Star, that it couldn't have really happened, it was just some kind of trick.

Excellent read!
jacensologirl on January 29th, 2010 10:35 pm (UTC)
I agree with jacens heart it always seems to me that Anakin would be one of those people who light up a room when they walk in. That kinda reminds me of myself actually I have Anakin Solo's personality (got that result on a quiz about 35 times) so when I walk in a room everyone just looks at me gets quiet and smiles really weird especially when I sit down they start talking to me and keep making me laugh like I do to them wierd right.?